As I stood at the checkout counter at one of my favorite stores I saw a woman who looked quite familiar to me.
She stood, confident and sure. Hair curled and placed perfectly so. Each brush stroke of her eye shadow layered articulately and her lipstick stained her perfectly pouted lips. She appeared overdressed for the occasion, but yet up on trends and confident enough to not care. Her heels caused her to tower the counter yet she carried herself gracefully as she placed the entire summer collection on the store counter.
I watched as she unzipped her Prada wallet and whipped out her credit card without a budget in mind. It was then I could feel myself standing taller, sucking in the remnants of a combined 18 months of pregnancy that my spanx just could not control. The room felt warm...maybe it was the 68 degree day, or maybe insecutiry setting in.
I left the store. I felt defeated. I walked pushing my bus, er, double stroller as fast as I could. I caught a glance of myself in the window...I walked faster. Ugh AGAIN, there I was....who is that?!?! I thought....Who am I?!?! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?!?!?!
So yes, I went shopping at an upscale outdoor shopping venue in my area. And I went there in jeans that hugged me a little too tightly in the waist and a little too loosely in the legs. I wore tennis shoes and had my hair in a sloppy pony tail. I hoped the proper positioning of my sunglasses would hold back the untamed strands of hair that were so in need of a fresh cut. I wore a long sweater anticipating the need to cover the spit-up that may have been ejected on my left shoulder after lunch time. I had enough makeup on to make me appear decent and did I even have lipstick on?!?! Eyeliner is a definite no.
It was then I realized....through this looking glass I saw myself. Quite possibly around 5 years ago. Perfectly put together. Enjoying life, enjoying marriage, enjoying my career. Limited worries, yet I knew deep down something was always missing.
I swung my way back around by the store and saw this woman strutting to her car as if she was walking the streets of NYC. It was then I realized there was an incredible glare on this looking glass. As I felt myself envying this woman I tried to look around this glare and watch her every move. The glare became so intense that I could barely see her, as if she was disappearing. I repositioned my sunglasses, and felt my hair fall to my face. I glanced down at my freight train, ah hem...I mean double stroller, and realized that I was, in fact, no longer THAT woman. And yes, my reflection has certainly changed. I didn't haven to run from it, I did not have to flee.
I slowed down my previous pace and stopped my mack truck, UGH STROLLER, and took a long look at what I saw in the window. I stood there and open, naked only to be judged by myself, my harshest critic. I smiled at the thought of how far Ive come. I saw the woman these children are responsible for creating, the life they have given me, the lessons they have taught me. I saw pure beauty.
It was then I realized, not only did the reflection in the window include a woman who may not be perfectly placed or perfectly put together.... it did include a woman was in the most perfect place of all...with her two beautiful children on a Monday afternoon strolling in an outdoor shopping venue without a care in the world!
I stand proudly and confidently to say THAT WOMAN IN THE WINDOW, with the steamboat, errrr....I mean double stroller, IS ME!
